Jennifer Regan spills the white-jean beans!

Jennifer Regan says embrace your body shape not the trend and do your body justice! As always, this is an opinion piece and the views expressed are not those of Cork Feminista.

White Jeans: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Truth


Having recently returned from a year living and working in Toronto, I was oblivious to all things European including the summer trends that had been gracing the catwalks of London, Paris and Milan. Not that I am a staunch follower of fashion, but I do, like many Irish women indulge in the odd episode of Xpose and enjoy flicking through the pages of Grazia from time to time.

As I was exploring my new neighbourhood in Cork, I wandered into a bar and was dazzled, blinded in fact by the light. It wasn’t the strobe lighting that made my eyeballs hurt like hell, nor was it the hip minimalistic white wash walls of the establishment. I was face to face with what I can only describe as a tsunami of white jeans. Young, middle aged and old ladies flocked together in their white jeans.

White Jeans: Fashion Friend, Foe or serious Faux-Pas?

Let me be brutally honest here. White jeans are tricky. First of all, you are faced with the problem of what to wear underneath the white and sometimes almost transparent jeans. Understandably, you don’t want to commit the cardinal sin of exposing the dreaded VPL (visible panty line). There are a few options;

Option 1. Wear knickers (aside from the dilemma already discussed above and even if it is the flesh coloured, seamless type of knickers, you still run the risk that they may ride up your derriere….). Not a good look.

Option 2. Wear nothing underneath. Unless you possess the cellulite free, toned and pert bum of a Victoria’s Secret model, this option is pretty grim. I saw more lumps and bumps that night at the bar than I care to even discuss now.

Options 3. Wear something underneath. By this I mean a thong/G-string. You run the risk, however of not only exposing your cheeks through the fabric to all and sundry but you have got a little sumo wrestler situation going on every time you bend over to pick up your bag or do the ‘slut drop’ on the dance floor.

What happened to wearing what suits and flatters our body shape? Have we become so ‘samey’ and lacking in imagination when it comes to buying clothes? I mean look at the ‘skinny jean’ phenomenon. I see pretty voluptuous women everyday poured into skinny jeans that look both uncomfortable and unflattering. Skinny jeans and white jeans were designed for ladies with long slender legs. End of.

My point is it is time to get real. It is time for us ladies to get naked, have a good look in the mirror and study our body shape. It is not about being critical of ourselves but about doing our bodies justice. I can admit to having a little more ‘junk in my trunk’ than I would like. I would like to be a little taller. I would like wider shoulders. I would like longer legs. We can’t always get what we want but we can make the best of what we have.

The next time to wander into Penney’s and are faced with a rack of white jeans, I urge you to think twice before aimlessly buying them just because they are ‘bang on trend’. Try on many different styles and colours of jeans before making a decision about what looks good on you. Leave with your head held high a swagger that says, in the words of Coco Chanel “Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions.”

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